super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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