dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
