I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
