And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's blow job season.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
