Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
