I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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