Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
