Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize