Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize