i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
