i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Randomize
