I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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