summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
did i just pee glitter
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
