what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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