We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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