I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
