my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
