I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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