shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
