I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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