I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
