the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
