Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
