1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
