So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Bang-toberfest begins!!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
