I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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