hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize