Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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