the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
