you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
