Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.

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(775): View more from Nevada

You're the end to all my bad dreams.

(702): View more from Nevada

Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?

Fav 6 1046 2254
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.

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(785): View more from Kansas

my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working

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(201): View more from New Jersey

for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love

Fav 10 3900 936
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(406): View more from Montana

I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot

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(630): View more from Illinois

On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin

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