Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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