if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
