clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
