Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
