Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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