yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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