I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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