YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
