Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
