What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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