please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
