I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Your cock deserves a montage
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
