UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
well, you know. whores of a feather.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i out mim tonsoeep
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