there's paper in my vomit.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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