You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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