i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
