Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize