did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
