I want to have your abortion
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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