im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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