The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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