Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
