we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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