My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
