It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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