I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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