opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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