Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
