did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
so explain again why im purple
no
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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