Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize