I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
