it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
