My first STD was from a foam party
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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