I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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