okay pat passed out under dana's car
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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