she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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