I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize