And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
