Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
