Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
