We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
