i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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