I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
