I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
